2 months after my break up with my boyfriend of 6 months. It was a emotionally and physically damaging realtionship and I finding the strength to be okay. I’m writing again to understand how it all happened and to heal. I’m ending the chapter way, even though it’s over.
Happy Wednesday and special shoutout to my #wcw #wce : ME. Through all my ups and downs my smile has never faded and the love and the confidence for myself has grown. The one thing I have learned is that people learn how to treat you by watching how you treat yourself. So know I spoil the hell out of myself because I deserve the best and so do you! #loveyourself #confidenceisbeautiful #afrodominicana #respectyourself
And what if we were allowed to speak the truth, share our true feelings without fear of being deceived by another player of THE GAME.
They tell me either I learn to play by the rules or I get played and in the end its still all the same, this isn’t Candy Land and in the end hearts are broken and lives are changed.
A Game nobody is bound to win; yet many are determined to play. Young men determined to get respect from their “boys” who are just as afraid to admit that they too want love. Instead they roll the dice, choose new pawn and use her until this round is up and back in the box she goes, an object to be used because that’s the way THE GAME goes. There are some that aim to win the Prize, to get the Trophy, but when they have her in their grasp, they fail to grasp her worth, a loss.
THE GAME doesn’t teach you about creating soul binding symphonies; just one hit one wonders that last until the sun rises, turning that burning lust into cold ash.
THE GAME doesn’t teach you how to create foundations to build empires upon; so you just keep building straw houses to watch the next hungry wolf blow them down and steal what you thought was yours.
We talk about THE GAME, a one sided conversation pitted against men who we have failed to see have fallen victim to this system that society has created. The destruction and corruption of morals and values, the objectification of woman and we wonder why men attempt to collect trophies for their shelves. Woman to shall not abstain from the blame as they do play the GAME and it times to stop letting childish games continue to degrade the sacred bond that two people create for a lifetime.
Stop destroying forever, soul binding, hand holding, music making, late night conversations about why batman is the ultimate superman, stolen kisses, passionate lovemaking, connecting silences for temporary straw house, rough out of tune instruments, trysts in the back seats of parked cars, fuck buddies, crumbling foundations . For A GAME you were never meant to win.
Keep playing THE GAME, creating your own purgatory on earth.
Dear Guy on the train,
100 posts! Yeah!!! More post to come.
So I have not blogged in a while but I feel the need to talk about an issue that it weighing heavily on my chest. At 23 I am a virgin, I will pause and allow the shock to wear off for some people and also allow the jokesters to get in your jokes. Okay are you back with me. Good and I have found that in today’s society I at times don’t seem to fit in. Let me explain I am virgin but I do have needs and I am interesting in exploring my sexual desires with the right person or a person that I feel safe with and connect on a emotional level. I know some people are thinking wow, this woman is crazy. A virgin who wants to talk about sex and individually explore her own sexual needs.,No such thing. This is my dilemma. Women are categorized and placed into two groups: the virgin or the vixen, pure or tainted, the prude or the whore. I could go on and on but you get the drift. I for one thinks this is unfair, men are encouraged to explore their sexual needs and desires but if a woman wants to talk about sex whether she is engaging in it or not she is considered unlady-like. It frustrates me that recently when I engaged in my first make-out session ( pause again for shock and disbelief), the guy called me the next day and apologized for corrupting me. He asked me if I had felt coerced and pressured and could not believe that I willingly wanted to make-out with him because I was a “good girl” and would have “never initiated the session on my own”. First of all I am a woman and I have womanly needs but I choose to wait because I want it to be special ( old fashioned as that idea maybe) and I believe in waiting for the one. My first thought was what is so wrong with your hands and your lips that upon touching me you corrupted me. The fact is that women in society are not allowed to be sexual beings we cannot own our sexuality without being called negatively out of our names. If a woman wants to bear it all to the world, or have sex with a new man every night that is her right, because men do the same thing and are praised for it. I am not saying that I could ever be a one-night stand woman or a fuck and leave them kinda of gal. But who says that how a sexual being how to act all the time. I want it to be stated that the term “ good girl” and “ bad girl” should no longer be used to describe women, because its condescending and because who should decide what actions are good and what actions are bad. Explore your sexuality if you want to watch porn then do so. If you want to touch yourself because it feels good then do it. As a virgin if you want to kiss someone, wear thong underwear, no underwear or a slightly low cut blouse then do it. It doesn’t make you a bad woman and it doesn’t define you as a whore. If you like to have sex then have as much sex as you would like, although I recommend using protection. Men love sex, so why can’t woman. I can be a virgin with an overly sexual imagination and I can be a woman who loves sex but nothing too wild just the missionary position all the time. I mean woman should be allowed to define their sexuality and what it means to them, they should be allowed to explore their sexual needs the same way men do without ridicule and reprimand. I am not saying that I for one am going to start having sex with every guy I mean but maybe just maybe I might French kiss on the first date and let him give me a hickey, doesn’t make me any less of a virgin and any less of a good woman.