Diary of a Fat Chick

From fluffy to Fit. I am embracing my curves and on a mission to be fit and curvy.I believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So even on my worst days I try to see the beauty of me. I am at a transitional point in my life: physically, mentally and emotionally. I want my inside beauty to match my outer beauty

Girl Power: It is time to grow up, time to be women.


I’m starting to hate the phrase “girl power” because I find it condescending. I’m not a girl I am a woman and yet we are afraid to shout woman power. Why because girl is cute and society is more comfortable with that idea. Think about it for a moment when you think of girl power you picture The…

Women power

Shopping in the dark: Plus size clothing in Regular stores

I hate shopping. I love clothes but the thrill of shopping is lost when I’m forced to ask what’s the largest size you carry. It’s embarrassing and the worst part is the looks I get as I should know better than ask if they carry a size 16 or 18 because god forbid a size 16 fit over my half dominician half black butt. Small waist big back side. It hurts me because I deserve to feel beautiful too deserve to enjoy the joy of shopping. So many stores now jump on plus size and offer it not letting you know that it’s only offered in select stores. So you wander the store looking for your special section which is usually regulated to the back of the store and consists of you walking down an aisle. It hurts that I am being told that I’m not good enough to shop with the rest of the consumers but we will gladly take your money just so you can feel included. I will not play into your hand again. I say again because after walking around numerous stores I caved in and found a store where I was determined to buy anything just because I needed to feel needed. I went to Vickie’s and all the underwear in my size was so unsexy I felt insulted. I wanted something sexy but instead I settled for whatever cute polka dots they had in XL aware that these panties would be given the distinction of period panties, definitely unsexy. I then went to counter and told the lady that this was my first time shopping here and no I don’t want a reward card because you barely carry my size. But don’t you worry I’m going to lose more weight and then I’ll get to wear all the sexy underwear that you save for the smaller sizes. Literally one size down I could have been in sexy heaven. I didn’t say that exactly but you get the drift. The thing is in that instance I had the wrong thinking I’m not losing weight because I want to be able to fit in and endorse certain clothing lines and I shouldn’t feel that I have too. Woman should be able to feel sexy no matter what body shape they have and they shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask for their size. They shouldn’t be made to go in the corner away from everyone else to look at clothes because their sizes are larger. Include us but if you do don’t exclude us and attempt to indirectly shame us for what we look like. Just because you have one aisle of clothing doesn’t mean that you have really geared yourself toward including plus size clientele especially if you put us off to the size and dress is in ugly, clothes. We want to feel sexy , cute and beautiful we have different shapes as well and we need clothes to fit our various body types. Please if your going to include us don’t shame us into hating our bodies or shopping anymore then we already have. Some of us have yearned to shop in your stores eager to finally be able to wear your clothing only to be hurt and disappointed by your meager selection. You say you want to show that we are loved and promote body positivity. Then please shine light in our dark corner and give us more to feel proud about, give us something you would want to wear something all women would want to wear but for our bodies.

2 months after my break up with my boyfriend of 6 months. It was a emotionally and physically damaging realtionship and I finding the strength to be okay. I’m writing again to understand how it all happened and to heal. I’m ending the chapter way, even though it’s over.



sorry cant quite hear u over how cute i am ???? 

First of all. Hell yes this person is cute. Secondly - anons like this attacking the appearances of other disabled people makes my blood boil. I would like to tell myself that anons like this come from immature able bodied teenagers who lack common sense and empathy toward others but the reality is, even grown adults think similar ways about the lives and bodies of disabled people. It’s absurd, disgusting and cowardly that any person would send anon hate to others for any unjustifiable reason but especially when it comes to physical characteristics that the individual cannot control.
Sure, tell me again how ableism, hatred and ignorance toward disabled people doesn’t exist. Of course to those who claim this, it doesn’t exist.. would you like to know why? because they would rather that we didn’t exist or we are already invisible to them

You are beautiful and it’s obvious anon ignorance is not affecting you.

(Source: , via shwagerr)

Tbt: mini photo shoot. My smile always shines bright. The camera loves me. Photo credit to @jidah31  #afrodominicana #confidenceisbeautiful #respecthecurves #topmodel

Tbt: mini photo shoot. My smile always shines bright. The camera loves me. Photo credit to @jidah31 #afrodominicana #confidenceisbeautiful #respecthecurves #topmodel

Tbt: ” Gangsta Barbie” I know it’s weird I named my selfies. Lol #gangstabarbie #pink

Tbt: ” Gangsta Barbie” I know it’s weird I named my selfies. Lol #gangstabarbie #pink

Happy Wednesday and special shoutout to my #wcw #wce : ME. Through all my ups and downs my smile has never faded and the love and the confidence for myself has grown. The one thing I have learned is that people learn how to treat you by watching how you treat yourself. So know I spoil the hell out of myself because I deserve the best and so do you! #loveyourself #confidenceisbeautiful #afrodominicana #respectyourself


And what if we were allowed to speak the truth, share our true feelings without fear of  being deceived by another player of THE GAME.

They tell me either I learn to play by the rules or I get played and in the end its still all the same, this isn’t Candy Land and in the end hearts are broken and lives are changed.

A Game nobody is bound to win; yet many are determined to play. Young men determined to get respect from their “boys” who are just as afraid to admit that they too want love. Instead they  roll the dice, choose new pawn and use her until this round is up and back in the box she goes, an object to be used because that’s the way  THE GAME goes. There are some that aim to win the Prize, to get the Trophy, but when they have her in their grasp, they fail to grasp her worth, a loss.

THE GAME doesn’t teach you about creating soul binding symphonies; just one hit one wonders that last until the sun rises, turning that burning lust into cold ash.

THE GAME doesn’t teach you how to create foundations to build empires upon; so you just keep building straw houses to watch the next hungry wolf blow them down and steal what you thought was yours.

We talk about THE GAME, a one sided conversation pitted against men who we have failed to see have fallen victim to this system that society has created. The destruction and corruption of morals and values, the objectification of woman and we wonder why men attempt to collect trophies for their shelves. Woman to shall not abstain from the blame as they do play the GAME and it times to stop letting childish games continue to degrade the sacred bond that two people create for a lifetime.

 Stop destroying forever, soul binding, hand holding, music making, late night conversations about why batman is the ultimate superman, stolen kisses, passionate lovemaking, connecting silences for temporary straw house, rough out of tune instruments, trysts in the back seats of parked cars, fuck buddies, crumbling foundations . For A GAME you were never meant to win.

 Keep playing THE GAME, creating your own purgatory on earth. 

But you out here playing games. Men swear they want a ” Good Woman” but  when they get one they don’t know how to treat her and want to play little boy games. Then when they are ready to grow up she has already moved on . #realwoman #notimeforgames

But you out here playing games. Men swear they want a ” Good Woman” but when they get one they don’t know how to treat her and want to play little boy games. Then when they are ready to grow up she has already moved on . #realwoman #notimeforgames

Letter to my complimenter: Beauty is one size fits all

Dear Guy on the train, 

Today you probably mentally high fived yourself for giving a fat girl a “compliment”. I use the word compliment loosely because I really didn’t see it as uplifting or kind. You told me that I was beautiful for a big girl and you can change big with fat, thick, ,large or even plus size. You told me I was lucky I had a beautiful face and a nice ass because then I would have just been another fat girl. Well sir you didn’t compliment you insulted me and it hurt. You are whats wrong with society. You are the reason I hated to look in the mirror as a child because I was too fat to be beautiful. You thought you were doing me a favor but the thing is I know I’m beautiful and no matter what I weigh I will always be beautiful. My size does not put me in a special category or make me some freak occurrence. Beauty does not occur on a spectrum with fat and ugly at one end and thin and beautiful at the other with me as a surprise in the middle. It’s funny because I been in limbo on my self discovery journey. I got caught up in losing weight and I lost sight of why I was doing it and why I was redefining myself. I stopped eating and wound up having to go to the hospital after passing out at work. You sir made me angry and I can work with anger. I had vowed to not let myself get lost in losing weight and brainwashed by ignorant people like yourself sir. Who think that beauty has certain characteristics or attributes that must be met in order to call yourself as beautiful. I’m fat because I’m fat and I don’t just happen to be beautiful. I’m beautiful because I feel beautiful inside and out. I know who I am sir, do you. Did you feel the need to tell me that because you felt pressure to fit in? Sir I’m sorry that you felt that your double edged compliment would make me smile and make this fat chick’s night. It didn’t it made me sad initially but I took a step back because I know who I am and I know that I’m beautiful. I hope you know the same. But in the future just remember beauty is one size fits all and it will even fit you. There is always room for self love and I hope that you love yourself and define yourself as beautiful. This human being, this woman feels beautiful all on her own.
Sincerely, Fat Chick who is beautiful because she is just beautiful.